Ask Jayfeather (Warrior Cats)
by PercyandJay
Summary: R & R, plz. Need reviews to do this... Title explains all. Rated what it is for a reason..
1. Chapter 1

**Hey Guys- I'm now doing a ASK JAYFEATHER fanfic. Yep. I'm that awesome.**

 **Anyway, I NEED reviews to write in this. And in those reviews, I ask for this you want to ask Jayfeather. If that isn't clear, let me spell it out for you: YOU REVIEW WHAT YOU WANT TO ASK JAYFEATHER= I GET JAYFEATHER TO ANSWER YOU AND THIS KEEPS GOING!**

 **(Disclaimer: I don't own warriors. Or most of the cats featured.)**

 **Anyway, I'm going to be starting off with an INTRODUCTION!**

 **But before I do, I'm jut going to point this out..**

 **I'm not gonna be all like**

 **\- Jayfeather: Hi guys, and welcome to the show! -**

 **Because that's against the rules. So I'll be writing in regular format, 'k?**

 **If you don't like it, flame all you like.**

Jayfeather stretched his stiff muscles. He was about to groom himself, but suddenly paused.

The camp seemed too quiet. It was probably already _sunhigh_ by now, (Jayfeather had woken up late, he could tell) yet no noise came from outside. No complaints from the apprentices, no grumbles from the elders, no whining from the kits, no gossip from the queens- _nothing._

Jayfeather stepped out of his den. Obviously nobody was here. He was just about to call out, "Hello?" when he heard a voice.

"Jayfeather."

Jayfeather twisted around. This cat was not one he knew- he didn't recognize the scent.

"Who are you?" Jayfeather asked. "What are you doing here?"

"My name is Emily," the voice said calmly. "I've come to take you away."

For some reason the funny farm song flashed through Jayfeather's mind, but he ignored it.

Jayfeather took a step back in mere surprise. " _What?_ I'm not going with a stranger of a cat!" _Besides,_ he thought in his mind, _I have to take care of Briarlight._

"Briarlight will me fine," Emily said, as if she could read Jayfeather's mind. "Besides, the whole forest is asleep right now. I've put them into a deep slumber."

Jayfeather felt his heart skip a beat. "How? Are you from Starclan?"

"No," Emily said. "I'm from a place far above Starclan." Jayfeather heard a hint of amusement in Emily's voice as she said, "A place called reality."

 _Who is this she-cat? Why does she want me- what has she come for? How could she put the clans to sleep?_ Jayfeather thought. _What's reality?_ **What, you don't know what that is? Dumb cat.**

Again, as if reading his mind, Emily said, "I've come to make you important. Respected. Admired... Maybe even made fun of, but you are already."

Jayfeather blinked.

"I've come to put you in a fanfiction- is that clearer, you mouse-brain?"

Jayfeather's voice turned cheery. "Okay!" he randomly said happily. "Lets go! Can I see the nyan cat? Will Tigerstar be brought to life?"

... Yea, that's weird. Sudden change in tone there...

 **Anyway, REVEIW SO I CAN START THIS DANG THING PLZ**


	2. First draft (AJ2)

**Hey guys, I already got a few questions... So, Yay, I guess... XD Anyway, please review for what** ** _you_** **want to ask Jayfeather!**

 **No, but seriously. Cuz if you don't, I can't do this. ;) Also, disclaimer: I don't own Warrior cats, any songs, and blah blah blah blah.**

 **Little Brookie Butterfly**

asks: **  
**

 **Jayfeather, who do you like more, Briarlight or Half Moon? Or do you like both of them?**

Jayfeather stared down at the paper with the question. He squinted and could feel Emily's burning gaze on his pelt.

"Well?" she asked. "Read it!"

Jayfeather "looked" up from the paper. "I can't. And don't they already know what the question is?"

Emily was quiet for a moment before answering, "Oh. Yeah... You have a point. Whatever- Just answer it."

"Okay."

Jayfeather cleared his throat and calmly thought for a moment.

"I don't understand the question," he confessed.

"But- But, it's so simple..."

Jayfeather just studied the paper. "Hmm..."

Emily did a face-palm and rubbed her temples. "This was a mistake," she muttered.

"OOOoooohh!" Jayfeather suddenly cried out. "I get it now!"

He cleared his throat again and said, "I have to say, I like Half-Moon better. In fact, I only like Half-Moon out of those two. Where did you stupid- Uh, I mean.. _interesting and incredibly superior_ twolegs get that idea?"

Jayfeather sighed. "The only other cat I like in nyan cat, anyway... but she's way out of my league."

Emily eyed Jayfeather carefully, wondering if Jayfeather was crazy as he started to sulk about nyan cat.

"I'd slap you right now," Emily muttered angrily, "but I need you for this stupid thing which you REALLY need to make more funny."

 **Anyway, next question is from Pebbleshine, who asks:**

 **if a badger attacked who would you defend A-your stick B-Halfmoon or C-Hollyleaf**

"Okay, Jayfeather-"

"Are all you twolegs _mad!?"_ Jayfeather roared. " _WHY WOULD I SAVE A STICK FROM A BADGER- OR A DEAD CAT!_ Of course I'd save Hollyleaf!"

Emily couldn't suppress a smile. _She_ knew what would happen to Hollyleaf... Even if Jayfeather didn't. Sure, The stick was a stick and Half-Moon was dead- but who was Jayfeather to know that Hollyleaf may or may not very well be dead?

"What?" Jayfeather demanded, sensing Emily's amusement. "What's so funny?"

Emily struggled not to break apart and managed to say, "Nothing."

Suddenly she burst into laughter.

" _What?_ " Jayfeather demanded again.

"Nothing, nothing," Emily reassured him. She wiped away a few tears from laughing. "Anyway, next question:"

 **This is from Psychic Pokémon Lover:**

 **What would you do if you did see Nyan Cat?**

 **A) Nyannyannyannyannyannyannyan**

 **B)"Woooooooow..."**

 **C) Dance on the rainbow.**

Jayfeather scratched his chin thoughtfully. "All of them," he said. " except maybe the rainbow part... I don't know what that is. And I'd also pester her with questions and kisses and apologies for not answering her texts... Then I'd probably eat her..."

Emily did a facepalm. "She's not your girlfriend, no matter how much you want to believe it."

Yet Jayfeather's happy expression remained. It slowly started fading, though, and Emily realized she should've kept her mouth shut. Jayfeather's face finally fell into a frown and he banished himself to a small corner where he proceeded with crying a river that drowned the whole world. ANd while he looked so sad in phtotographs, I absolutely love him.. WHen he smiles... Oh, wait a minute.. Never mind that was from a song.. Wrong dialogue..

"Jayfeather, I-"

Jayfeather interrupted her with a sob. "No, your right... I'm nothing in this world. Nyan cat probably doesn't even know me..." Then he cried an ocean.

Emily sighed. "Next question:"

 **NoBodyWantsToBeTheLastone asks:**

 **Jayfeather, do you love me?**

Jayfeather instantly sucked all his tears up. "Are you.. are you nyan cat?"

Emily groaned. "Yes," she said sarcastically. "It's totally Nyan cat."

Jayfeather, taking it the wrong way, cried again- this time out of joy. "Yes! Yes, I love you! Please marry me!"

Emily was about to tell him the truth, but then thought the better of it. "Whatever," she muttered.

 **K, guys- I need more reviews to keep this going, so please review! I only just started this! Also, not hating on Jay Jay. ;)**


	3. Rager YEPPERS (AJ3)

**Disclaimer: DOn't own Warrior cats or most references to hear-of things. Yay. And Stuff.**

 **R &R, guys! I need reviews for this! Please ask Jayfeather something so I can make another chap, kk? ;)**

 **Also- come ON, don't ask about LUVY DUV MATTERS! (Although I'm a fan of JayxHalf and stuff what WHATEVES)**

 **Love you guys!**

 **The First question of the Chappie is from a Guest, so whatever. IT reads;**

 **Jayfeather would u rather be a warrior, or hollyleaf be one of the three, be happy, and be alive**

Jayfeather sat up straight, thinking. "I guess I'd rather be a warrior then the whole Hollyleaf thing. Because apparently Emily hates Hollyleaf and if I said otherwise she would give nyan cat to Halt and Will, who would've let the Baron eat her."

Emily, for once, was the oblivious one and smiled happily. "Yay!" she said in a high-pitched voice.

Jayfeather forced a smile, but mouthed, _Help me!_

Emily cleared her throat, preparing to break off into the next question, when she noticed the mouthing of the lips.. movement... thingy. She glared at Jayfeather.

Jayfeather rolled his eyes. "This will be the death of me," he muttered. And it probably would be.

 **Next Question: (From TheSoul'sAura )**

 **I made a genderbent she-cat of you called Frostfeather. What do you think of that?**

Emily smiled and waited for Jayfeather's reaction as time passed.

Jayfeather's face went blank and he seemed frozen. The only thing that moved on him was his chest, pumping as Jayfeather started to take in deep breaths of panic.

Emily's smile faded and she reached out for Jayfeather. "Are you okay?" she asked him.

Suddenly the heavy breathing softened and Jayfeather's face remained blank.

"Wait, _WHAT!?_ " he roared so ferociously that Emily couldn't help but wonder if he wasn't half lion.

Emily backed away, actually _frightened_ by the blind cat as his fur fluffed out so much that he looked thrice his size (and yes, thrice is a word).

"Jayfeather?" she said testily. Her voice shook.

Jayfeather didn't respond but proceeded with _screaming_ his _head_ off. The ground began to quake as a huge vein throbbed on Jayfeather's forehead. **(Yeah, I did that)**

" _DO YOU TWOLEGS THINK THIS IS A JOKE!?"_ Jayfeather yowled. " _I'LL SHOW YOU A JOKE! UN FACT, I'LL SHOW YOU QUITE A FEW! HERE'S A JOKE FOR YOU: THE FACT THAT YOU STUPID,, IDIOTIC TWOLEGS HAVE THE NERVE TO MAKE A GIRL VERSION OF ME, TO ASK ME QUESTIONS CONCERNING MY LOVE LIFE, TO TAKE AWAY THE OLD FOREST AND TO EXIST! IT'S A JOKE TO LOOK AT YOU!"_

Emily cowered, her eyes wide with fear.

Suddenly the ground stopped shaking and Jayfeather returned to normal.

"Another joke," he said, not noticing Emily, who was shaking so hard that she couldn't even tell that the ground was normal, "is:

Why did the Beatles break up?"

Jayfeather smiled. He let out a small laugh and said, "Because they were _bugging_ each other!"

 **Now, from MEowKitty1912,**

 **Hey Jayfeather, how would you react if you realized someone drew *cough* totally not me *cough* a really bad picture of you?**

Jayfeather's eye twitched. "How would I _react_?"

Suspense built up as exciting music that showed something big was coming started.

"How would I _react!?"_

Emily backed away, remembering what had happened last time.

" _How would I REACT!?_ "

The music grew more exciting and louder.

Suddenly it stopped and Jayfeather said, "Eh. I wouldn't really care."


	4. I hate SK's P!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Warrior Cats, Jayfeather, yada yada yada etc.**

 **Hey guys- I'm happy about the positive feedback I'm getting, so thx. ANd btw- R &R! I need reviews on what you want to ask JJ to continue this. Love ya!**

 **From: Raven that flies at night**

 **Question: Why are you constantly mad and sarcastic?**

 **Answer:**

Jayfeather narrowed his eyes. "Alright, now I'm kinda mad."

"You are?" Emily asked.

"No, I'm _soooo_ happy," Jayfeather muttered sarcastically.

Emily smiled. "Do you know what you just did?" she asked, suppressing a giggle.

Jayfeather swished his tail. "What?" he asked with an edge to his tone.

Emily did a face-palm. "You were _just_ mad _and_ sarcastic."

Jayfeather groaned. "Whatever," he muttered, and made do as if he were about to get away from this whole stupid fanfic thing.

"Wait," Emily said, "stay."

"Why should I?" Jayfeather demanded, still mad. "This whole thing is so dumb anyway!"

Emily crossed her arms and pouted at his stubbornness, not that he noticed. "I know you are but what is this?"

Jayfeather frowned. "I just said, it's dumb."

"I know you are but what is this?"

Jayfeather did a face- _paw_ and meowed tiredly, "Lets just get on with the next question.

 **:So, Jayfeather, what do you think about Starkit's Prophecy?**

"I-"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Jayfeather stared at Emily, who had so rudely interrupted him. "What are you doing?" he asked as she repeatedly did face-palms.

All she did was say "No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no NO!"

"Emily!" Jayfeather shouted. "What has gotten into you!?"

Emily looked up from hitting herself and Jayfeather realized she was crying. She dropped to her knees and got in a tornado-drill position. Suddenly she started shaking horribly as sobs racked her body.

"Emily," Jayfeather said, his voice softer, "What's wrong?"

There was no answer.

"Are you okay? Do you need nyan cat?"

Again, no answer but the sad and pathetic little sobs of Emily as she kept shaking.

"How about the nom nom song?"

"NOOOO!" Emily screamed, her voice raw. "Nooo nooo noo! Not Starkit's Prophecy!"

Jayfeather's blind blue eyes widened. "ENd of chapter, then?" he asked.

Emily started sobbing again.

Jayfeather nodded. "End of chapter," he confirmed.


	5. AN

**Hey guys, thanks for all the feedback! I've only just recovered from the last question (You're so CRUEL) and stuff (but I luv u lol).**

 **Remember, I still need feedback on what you want to ask JayJay, and I'm now accepting requests for EMILY. The TWOLEG.**

 **Love u! ;)**

 **ANYWAY, I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT UPDATE TO MAKE!**

 **YOU CAN NOW ONLY ASK JAYJAY QUESTIONS THROUGH PM..**


	6. Chapter 6

Okay guys, so, due to Fanfiction restrictions, I have made an important decision.

I WILL NOT BE CONTINUING- CONTINUEING- CONTINYUING- WHATEVER WRITING ON

INSTEAD I WILL TRANSPORT ALL SCRIPT

ONTO

WATTPAW

SORRY AND GOODBYE... Forever. :,,,(


End file.
